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How Much Can You Really Control?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The short answer to this is: Not Much! The broader question I would ask you is: What are you afraid of? I've been a social worker for 31 years. I've been employed as a counselor for nursing students for the last 16 years. I've discovered that people who feel like they need to control others, or cling tightly to that which they believe they have control over, are really fearful.

None of us can really control anyone else. We can guide and give advice. We can encourage and nudge, but we can't make anyone do anything. Rather than trying to control others I'd recommend you look inside yourself to explore what it is that frightens you.  Here's a list of things I've wish I could control:
  1. The safety of my family.
  2. The raise I get every year if I'm fortunate. :)
  3. How many people buy my books.
  4. How many people like my books.
  5. How much I have to pay in taxes.
And that's just the beginning. Can you imagine what kind of shape I'd be in if I tried to control just these 5 issues? I'd probably stroke out! I know I don't want to live my life like that and I sure don't want to live afraid of all the things that can go wrong in this non-sensical world we live in.

So instead of controlling try:
  1. Praying
  2. An attitude change
  3. Talking out problems with others
  4. Setting boundaries
  5. Surrendering
When was a time you realized you didn't have as much control of your life circumstances as you thought you did?
    Read the Serenity Prayer and incorporate it into your life.

    God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
    Courage to change the things I can;
    And Wisdom to know the difference.


    1. Well,Jill, I needed to read this today. With my move to Texas, I have so wanted to control everything around me out of fear. And the need for things to be normal again. Prayer has been the only way through this.

    2. Hi Terri,
      I hope this helped a wee bit. I didn't know you were moving to Texas. I'll have to drop by your website and get all the scoop. Just try to surrender the fear.