Anne Greene here. When I wrote my book, Masquerade Marriage, I discovered the secret to making each manuscript I write come alive to my readers. In the second book of my Scottish Marriage Series, Marriage By Arrangement, I honed that secret to a fine art.
I’m a great proponent
of improving each manuscript I write. So, I’ve worked diligently to create a
better book so readers will love, keep, and reread my books. My highest hope is
for my readers to enter new worlds, meet fictional friends for life, and find a
spiritual message to encourage and help them along through this life journey.
So I was excited when I
discovered this secret.
During the writing of Masquerade Marriage, I thought I knew
what being in deep point of view meant. I thought I wrote deep point of view. I
knew I had to stay inside the character’s head. I lived inside the character’s
skin. I showed nothing that the POV character couldn’t have seen. I showed only
what the character saw, thought, and experienced in the moment.Yes, I did that. But
that was not enough.While writing Marriage By Arrangement, I dove even
further into deep point of view, dipping both feet into that other important
realm in writing—show, don’t tell.
I discovered that in
Very Deep POV, no thought or action is told.
Everything is shown. So I couldn’t use words like wished, hoped, thought, felt, caused, watched, knew, wondered,
realized, speculated, decided.
I couldn’t use
wonderful verb phrases like happiness flashed
through her, despair tugged at her, jealousy flattened her, love took her
breath away.
I couldn’t write that she smiled with satisfaction, her skin prickled with fear, the explosion made
her jump, the pollution caused her
nose to itch, her heart beat fast with excitement.
No. Emotion by emotion,
each has to be shown, not told. I’ll
give just a few simple examples.
Which is better?
A - Happiness exploded
inside her heart. Or…
B – She couldn’t keep a
grin, almost the size of Texas, from her face. If her sneakers trod on the
polished gym floor, she didn’t know it. Life couldn’t get any better.
A - Despair ground into
her heart. Or…
B - She wilted at her
desk, then dropped her forehead to her folded arms. There just wasn’t any
point.
A - Hot jealousy burned
a hole in her heart. Or…
B - Her face burned all
the way to her ears. She hid her head inside her Journalism book. If he could
date someone else, maybe she needed to show him that she could too.
A - Fury hit him like a
locomotive at full speed. Or…
B - He slammed the door
to her classroom behind him, tramped to where she sat, his shoes slapping the
floor like bullets, and smacked a hand on her desk. This time, she wouldn’t get
away with it.
All the As are telling.
All the Bs are showing deep POV.
So, if you prefer the
Bs to the As, never name the emotion. Let
actions show the emotions. And add
the thought inside the character’s head.
This type of Very Deep
Point of View brings the book and characters to life. Do you already write Very
Deep Point of View in your books? Do you enjoy reading Very Deep Point of View
books. I’d love for you to comment.
Award winning author
Anne Greene writes action-packed, historical fiction filled with heart-warming
romance. You’ll fall in love with her wounded heroes and identify with her
spunky heroines. Visit with her at http://www.AnneGreeneAuthor.com.
Okay everyone. Jill here again. This is a great topic to explore. Please feel free to jump in and comment or ask questions.
Excellent advice Anne! I will have to check over my WIP and see where I can tweak and improve.
ReplyDeleteeseckman at ymailmail dot com
Interesting post. Good illustrations. Thank you! I would love to win a copy of your book.
ReplyDeletemay_dayzee (at) yahoo (dot) com
Hi Elizabeth and Kay!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for stopping by. I'm always glad to see your smiling faces. I loved those examples that Anne uses. Makes it easy to understand,
Hi Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteNice to meet with you here! What is your WIP about? Do you write historicals? Tweaking and improving is always fun. One of my most enjoyable tasks!
Hi Kay, I'm glad you liked my illustrations! Entering deep into a character is so much fun. It's a lot like an actress taking on a part and becoming the character. It's good to talk with you.
ReplyDeleteHi Jill, You have such a lovely site. I love the castle. I saw quite a few really fantastic ones in Scotland. Have you been there?
ReplyDeleteHi Anne,
DeleteI was looking at all your travel pictures on your website. You get around woman! Yes, I've been to Scotland. One of my favorite places in the world but didn't get to spend near enough time there when I was in college. A very long time ago. I hope to get back to England and Scotland sometime and take my hubby with me.
I'd love to go back again too. I'd like to spend a year in the UK. Have you written a book set in Scotland?
ReplyDeleteHuum. I think I do a mix of deep pov and the other, not purposefully, of course. Guess I need to check those emotional words. Great post. I'll throw my hat in the ring for your book. Here's my email address: c(dot)castle(at)fuse(dot)net
ReplyDeleteHi Catherine,
DeleteThanks for stopping by. This writing gig is a full time learning process, isn't it? We've been at this so long we should have multiple doctorate degrees by now. :)
Hi Catherine, nice to meet with you here! I think emotional POV is so important for the reader to experience the book! Thanks for the kind words.
ReplyDelete